Rockcrit and A-Mama Ann Powers thinks way too hard sometimes

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Stop already

Just have to register my irritation about the "Modern Love" column in Today's NY Times. Yet another piece about "our screwed-up adopted child." I know that screwed up adopted kids exist, but the fact that only these stories get told in the mainstream press increases the stigma about adoption and cause aparents and akids undue anxiety. Did anybody ever consider that maybe one reason some adopted kids have problems is because they're made to feel freakish and problematic in a society that, despite the total fragmentation of the nuclear family, still clings to a semblance of bio-normality? I am sorry that the father who wrote the piece had such a hard time with his a-kid. (He had two b-kids too.) And (I can hear your objections) of course he has a right to share his story. But give us those other stories too, the boring ones of health and happiness.


Blogger John said...

Hey Ann,

That's what you're doing, and thank you for telling the stories of health and happiness.

As a b-father who's looking into adopting #2, I'm into the health and happiness.

And, you know, my next door neighbor was adopted. He's doing great and gets along fine with his a-parents. My brother-in-law, ditto and ditto, with the addition of having found his b-parents shortly before he married my sister; he gets on well with them too.

One thing I wanted to say about a previous post you did about Halloween, about how so many of the choices for activities with young kids are about the parents' desires. That's true, but I prefer to frame it slightly differently. It's about providing the kid with opportunities, and letting the kid decide. Naturally, the initial opportunities the kid will get to encounter will be about her or his parents' affinities. As long as you don't lay a trip on a kid for not liking something you do (my son, coming on 3 now, doesn't like Ornette Coleman), I don't see a problem. What I'm trying to say is, please try not to lay a trip on yourself either.

Keep on bloggin'!

4:20 PM


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